Someday seems so far away
The scar will be much bigger by then
The open wound will throb in pain
And your pile of salt still remain

Someday seems so far away
I try not to think of that day
But I long for it to come
Soon, I hope, I wait, I pray

Someday seems so far away
When I will think of not you but me
In every action I do, every cent I spend
Every breath I take, every chip I mend

Someday seems so far away
I hope that someday will come soon
Maybe hope is all I have to hold on
For now…

So which smile is yours
Which smile is mine
A smile is sometimes so abundant
Yet at times, that’s all you need

Smile for me
Smile for me
But will I smile
Will I smile for thee

I see that faint smile
Growing thin as time goes by
I sense it when I don’t belong
And I smile to cover all along

Smile when you’re happy
Smile when you’re sick
Smile when you’re sad
Smile when you cry
Smile when you live
Smile when you lie
Smile when you try
Smile when you burn
Smile when you sleep
Smile when you love
Smile when you want to…

The things you thought you knew, the things you felt right, you dreamed about, are now out the window. Why? Just because… unpredictable, indescribable things happened. The more you scream, the more you lose your voice… and the more you try to explain, thousand lies and misunderstandings are born. Where else would you be… in times when no one cares, no one knows, no one understands. Your sorrows and your dilemmas – drown you in a pool of hopelessness. Yet, you try to swim to shore… and you’re actually dying while at it.

Leave me alone, you won’t… the things left unsaid are meant to be unsaid. ‘Cause despite everything that we’ve been through, nothing is in conclusion… nothing is as it seems. It tastes sweet, honey-coated, chocolate pudding… but as you start sinking your teeth into it, the sting becomes apparent… it just goes deeper and more bitter. I’d cry you a river, no I won’t… I’m crying to myself. You don’t even care. You don’t even ask why. What’s left to say… I’m already torn anyway. At the end of the day… the world keeps spinning, and I’m still breathing. Though hopes seem lost, and as I’m losing faith again and again… I’ll keep breathing… I’ll keep breathing…

more hurt than loved,

more rain to love

than a sun above.

I feel my heart break

each time the truth is out

as for each truth, out a million lies.

I must learn to play the game

As the game likes to play me instead.

And I end up keeping all these feelings inside.

I did love the way your face felt against mine

Or how your lips tasted, softly tasting mine

But you’re a season that passes with time

And you do as seasons do,

they don’t stay.

I’ll never forget the day when we met

I fell for every one of your lies…

Maybe it never did leave me, maybe I never did let it go, for it has come back to haunt me and it only just recently that I’ve come to realise that the feeling is still there, existent, that it has always been there at the back of my head. It took a lot of things to numb the feelings last year, and it worked, but this time, it has started to envelope me all over again. It really feels as though I’ve fallen again. Time has passed as emotions have… this distance between us… this absence… I got lost… I drowned in a sea of new fishes and a jungle of new animals but I’ve come to the other end and see things differently. What have I done… What have I been feeling all these times? Baby, I still miss you so and wish I could be there with you… I can’t believe that after all these times, all the years… it’s come to this. That I still want you… The thought of losing you is too much to bear… I’d give everything just to have you close again… to have you near… Oh darling, my heart’s seen much better days and times when it was spent with you. I still can’t believe what I’m feeling. It’s surreal but it’s so real that my eyes just give way to tears that have not fallen in months… I have not shed a tear like this since you left.

I dreamt of you again last night… after a long long while… and oh how I miss you. You came back to me in that dream… I won’t ever forget our times together… You’re so far away right now, I wonder what you’re up to. I watched you leave a year ago and I’m ready to leave with you… I know it’s crazy… but I guess my feelings don’t lie anymore…

I’ll try and make it to see you again… Patience…

There hasn’t been much happening

that was worth writing, I guess…

But a fire has began to burn again

From deep within me

So tell me that I ain’t dreaming

Tell me I ain’t fantasizing

And it’s for real, it’s amazing

I’m lost for words, you’ve taken it all

And I can’t sleep, I can’t sleep at all

My I’s and you’s are mixed up

When my morn and night are turned around

Now the nights and the mornings have been rather cold, I tell you. But the day, OH MY GOD! seriously!! I’m tanning too quick! Faster than I can slop on more sunscreen! =( For the first time in my life I don’t really want the tan much. Hence, my sunscreen stock… not that I have plenty, but I’ve finally bought a Banana Boat (200g) SPF30 for my arms and legs. And I’ve been using Kose CoenRich Q10 White UV Protector SPF50+ PA++ and Mentholatum Acnes SPF50 PA++ alternatingly for my face and neck. And since these for the face are of the smaller tubes compared to the Banana Boat, I thought it would not hurt to get another tube, this time I decided on Broccoli Sunscreen SPF42+ from the Skinfood range =) Hey, I read that broccoli and those kinds of vegetables such as cauliflower inclusive, have good qualities on fighting UVA and UVB! And knowing the sunshine in Brisbane and Gold Coast.. you’d know what I mean.. yeah, bye bye premature skin ageing and skin damage/breakage..

Another find that I found was ESKINOL facial cleanser! A friend of mine has been using it since she was young and recommended it to us but I never found it anywhere and I sort of gave up looking for it, until one day, just few days ago, I accidentally came across it and TA DA! so I bought one, the Avocado one, and it is nice! It’s refreshing, the alcohol is not too mild but not too strong but strong enough that you can feel mintyness touching your skin. I wanted to get the Papaya one as well but there’s none at the store, I swear there is a Papaya one.. (I read it online.. in MUA..)

Some online orders arrived this week =) and I got more PUPA products, I’m loving their lip glosses! And their Natural Eyeshadows are NATURAL! =P I hadn’t planned on having the entire series 01-04, but I went to different stores with my friend for fun and surprise surprise, I found each of the colour I don’t have . So now I own the PUPA Natural Eyes from the lightest (01) to the darkest brown (04) =)

Oh! No! I’m so tired that I shall go to sleep… will updaet/edite this nother time.

I found something small, brown, dense but oh so soft little sweet thing… in my kitchen today. I thought… oh my, what would these taste like? So I looked at it, contemplated whether I should dip my hand into it and fish out a piece… and I did.

It was ohhh sooo niceeee!!! so yuummy! so.. not too sweet, but its texture was just.. sort of in between crummy and soft and I just love it!

So there you have it…

After months of absence..here I am ..

So it happened. It felt like Winter 2 days ago, but yesterday felt like the start of Summer. I don’t believe it, I couldn’t believe it when I walked out the house yesterday to find myself in such humid weather.. O-M-G!
Well, for the past a month or so, I’ve been purchasing some skincare online, due to the lack of availability of these products here where I live.. (GHEY.. but ahh well)

And I’ve been postponing my purchases on BB Creams.. due to my indecisiveness and the lack of actual products here.. but I did get brushes, MAC primer, and brush cleaner and such =) I’ll talk about it another time.
It’s been making me smile (I know it sounds.. silly) when I find the package when I got home =)

First package: came from the eBay seller [legendeux]
-Skinfood Peach Sake Emulsion
-Skinfood Parsley & Mandarin Moisturiser Cream
-samples!! (Skinfood Agave Cactus BB Cream with SPF36++, little bottles in a box of Skinfood Agave Cactus lotion and toner, Peach Sake Serum and Lettuce & Cucumber Water Drop Essence)

From eBay seller legendeux, south korea

Second package: from eBay seller [skinfoodbestprice]
-Cappuccino Mousse Foam Cleanser
Oh I have to say, this is so smooth and soft like mousse!! It smells like mocha/cappuccino but it’s not that in-your-nose strongness, but imagine the foam that covers the top of your cappuccino.. yeah..that’s what it smells like. and it has what I’d like to call coffee microbeads haha.. it’s actual grains/pieces of coffee particles that helps with cleansing/gently exfoliates your face without overdrying it =) the texture of this foam is just like mousse (hence the name)! imagine those chocolate mousse dessert.. yeah, like that. so, caution for any little kids around, they might think this is an actual chocolate mousse if it went to their hands.. ><

-samples!! (gotta love samples)
I received Agave Cactus serum, Agave Cactus Bb Cream (again..), Apple Vinegar Fresh Foam (what an interesting combination..) and actually I think that’s it for the 2nd package.. =)

Third package arrived today! I was not expecting that at all!! I thought it was gonna be another week !! But even better! hehe.. thanks sasa.com~
Well, this package contains:

1) Kanebo Naive Facial Cleansing Foam Peach
2) Kose COEN RICH Q10 White UV Protector SPF50+ PA++ (Smooth Touch) ..
omg what a long name.. but that’s what’s written on the item description in the delivery note
3) Mentholatum Acnes Medicated Foaming Wash
4) Mentholatum Acnes Powder Lotion (this is actually a toner..they just somehow call it Powder Lotion? so misleading..)
5) Mentholatum Acnes V Tinted Milk SPF50+ (this is a sunscreen before putting on primer or any make up of any kind..)

From Hong Kong

Well as you’d probably noticed I bought the Mentholatum set. i thought both my sisters and I could really benefit from it when those acnes are around But I wouldn’t really use this solely. Cause I have a feeling it’s a very strong and concentrated product.
So yeah! I can’t wait to try them out .. tonight! Well, not the sunscreen ones..they’re for tommorrow. But at least the wash and the toner =)
Why am I getting all these high SPF products? Welllll as we all know by now.. the Australia’s weather’s gone weird.. it jumped straight to summer.. where is spring? I don’t know.. Has it got to do with the issue of the salinity in Australia? I’m guessing so.. Well.. whatever it is, I need sunscreen on my face.. I tan oh too so very easily!! I used to be fine about this whole getting tan thing.. until now.. I don’t want to be all patchy with tan lines anymore haha.. I mean, it’s ok once in a while. Too much sun on my face gives me breakouts anyway! So that ain’t worth it.. rather be safe than sorry!

PS: should I trim my hair.. should I not?!! I want to grow it… =S